When life gives you lemons
by shelle87
Summary: When Edward left, Bella did the only thing she could do. She got on with her life. But when everything begins to fall down around her, she takes a journey. In an effort to move forward in life, Bella finds herself going unintentionally back.
1. Chapter 1

The car stuttered to an undignified stop in the middle of what appeared to be nowhere. Cursing to the high heavens, I slammed my palms against the steering wheel. _Now _the day really couldn't get any worse. As if hearing a challenge in my thoughts the skies opened, sending small chunks of ice bouncing off my car, trapping me inside with the fear of being pelted. I turned the key in the ignition only to be met with a sorry _wurring _sound that meant I was going nowhere. _That's about right, _I thought bitterly. _I was going nowhere. Nowhere in life, nowhere in this damn car!_

As the time passed and the skies began to darken, the hail only grew in momentum. Not one person had driven by and I was starting to feel hungry. I thoroughly regretted throwing my Blackberry at my boss' head; I could really use it right about now. All I had was my iPod, some gum and my Filofax. Sticking some of the gum into my mouth I reached into the backseat for a blanket. I always carried one with me in case my boyfriend, Luke, insisted on bringing Tobin, his dog, on one of our trips. After all, I did not want his two hundred pound mutt scratching my leather seats. I wrapped myself up tightly and tried to see through the hail. Although my attempts were fruitless, I knew that I was surrounded by fields which at any other point in time I may have appreciated. You didn't see much greenery in the city and I often relished at the opportunity to smell freshly cut grass. Right now though, being in Seattle would have had its advantages. For one, the place wasn't completely deserted! My stomach growled in disapproval of not receiving actual food despite my vigorous chewing. I inched down the window and threw the gum onto the grass. The moment it left my hand it disappeared from sight. _Darn weather. _

As darkness fell over my Prius, I let my imagination wander. If my life were a movie, this entire day would have been reduced down to a two minute montage, backed with some emotive soundtrack. It would end in one of several possible ways, depending on, of course, the genre. If it were a horror movie, I would've left the car and gone ahead on foot. I would do this despite knowing that a crazed lunatic was on the loose intent on hunting me down. Depending on whether or not I was the lead, I would end up either decapitated, or merely injured. I shuddered at the thought, _I would obviously play the lead – I would survive, _I reassured myself. Suddenly finding every sound eerie I forced my mind to move on. If this were a romantic movie, a white knight would show up and declare his undying love for me. I would resist at first but eventually succumb to his dark, brooding eyes, allowing myself to be whisked to safety in the comfort of his arms. Feeling slightly nauseous about liking the idea that I needed to be rescued I banished the imagine game from my mind and allowed the constant pattering of rain to lull me into a dreamless sleep.

When I woke the sky was still dark, but the hail had stopped. Opening the car door I tentatively stretched my cramped muscles. The air was cold but I still inhaled deeply, enjoying the freshness that only came after heavy rain. Despite the dismal weather it was still warm and I quickly decided that my only option was to walk to help. Flashes of the horror movie scenario rushed into my mind and I reached into the glove box for my 9mm. I placed the gun in my purse, knowing that the chances of me getting to it in time were slim but feeling more secure all the same. I spun around quickly with my eyes closed, letting "fate" decide my direction – onwards or backwards. I stopped facing the front of my car, onwards it was.

I walked until my feet began to hurt and decided to rest in a nearby field. The grass was wet and soaked through my trousers but my feet hurt too much to stand. I was dressed for work, so my attire was formal; black, tailored trousers, a cream ruffled shirt and sleek kitten heels. The heels allowed me to look sexy by adding a slight swagger to my gait, whilst remaining practical for my inherent clumsiness. They weren't, however, practical for a hike. I looked around me, questioning my decision making process for going forward. I still had miles to go _before_ I broke down, and it would have been more sensible if I had turned back. The day was breaking but I could see nothing except green fields surrounded by a distant forest. I stood up, angling for a better view. To my surprise, on my distant left was what looked like a small cabin or house. My inner self jumped for joy, hell, my outer self did too.

The house was much further than I had realised, and lead me away from the main road. Ever the one for caution, I pulled my gun from my purse and carried it in my dominant hand. I had only ever shot it at a shooting range and hoped that today wouldn't be the day for that to change. Drawing closer I could clearly see that it was a house, not a cabin. And it wasn't small. Everything was very quiet and as the sun was only just rising I assumed everyone would be in bed. Tucking the gun into my waist band, I walked up the porch steps to knock on the impressively carved front door. I was met with silence. Pausing for a moment to assess the exterior of the house I noticed that the curtains were open. I knocked again, only this time much louder. The door abruptly opened, leaving my hand knocking air and my heart in my throat.

"Bella?" a male voice asked.

My head swirled and I hit the deck.


	2. Chapter 2

"Bella?"

The musical voice ran through my mind, chasing the mist away. Before I even opened my eyes I could tell that I was no longer outside. I was laid on something soft, and there was a crackling sound which coupled with the heat I felt, I guessed came from an open fire. I knew he knew I was awake. He used to tell me he could tell by how my heart rate would speed up slightly, and my breathing would change. I prayed in equal measures that it would and wouldn't be him. I opened my eyes.

"Edward."

"Yes." He seemed relieved as a brief smile flashed across his face. I couldn't tell whether it was because I was OK or because I remembered him. How could I forget? He was knelt before me looking _exactly_ the same as when he had left. He looked so young, I thought sullenly. His eyes were as golden as ever. Old feelings of betrayal and abandonment flooded through me. He was still _fucking_ perfection incarnate and I _needed_ to get out of here. I wasn't _good _for him, more like not good enough. This was why he had left. _Why_ had he let me find him?

I couldn't find the words so I just stood up, ready to leave. He moved swiftly away from me, giving me ample room. I turned to walk out of the door when he spoke.

"I found your car."

I must have looked confused as he continued.

"I found your car parked by the side of the road. I couldn't fix it so I called a garage to collect it for you." His voice was neutral, not betraying any emotion he may have felt. Hell, why would it? We were exes; more specifically, I was the dumpee and he was the dumper. He didn't feel anything!

"Thank you," I replied curtly to the floor. "If I could just use your phone to call a cab then you can carry on living your _superior_ immortal life." I hated that I was acting like a petulant teenager but I couldn't help it. He had entered my life suddenly when I was in high school. He had filled it with excitement and love by exposing me to his true nature, and the open arms of his family. And then he had taken it all away. Happiness was hard to find after I'd experienced all that. Feeling wronged at my loss, I met his eyes in time to see what I thought to be sliver of pain behind them. Just looking at him filled me with past emotions I didn't want to feel. Nonetheless, my treacherous heart raced. I blushed as I knew he could hear the effect he still had on me.

"You look good, Bella."

"Yeah? Well you look the same," I spat.

"Must be my _superior _immortality," he mocked.

Although he looked the same, he seemed different – almost older, even though that was impossible. He had once told me that vampires very seldom changed, and I assumed that this meant they didn't age in any way – not physically and not mentally. He poked at the fire absentmindedly and I could see that his tendency to brood had become stronger. It was like he was sulking.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, despite wanting to appear cool and disinterested.

"No, I'm fine. The phone is through there," he gestured to a room which ran parallel to the one we were in. He achieved _cool and uninterested _effortlessly. Dick.

The house he lived in was nice. More modest than the old Cullen house, but still just as luxurious. The furniture was mostly made of a dark, rich colored wood. The floors were also wooden, with large, comfortable looking rugs strategically scattered around. I noticed a distinct lack of personality in the furnishings and there were no photographs around.

I located the phone on a grand side table and debated who I should call. I had the same two choices as when I was deciding which direction I should walk in – forwards or backwards. Deciding that being here was _backwards_ enough, I dialled Charlie's number. I had been heading to Forks, my old hometown, when I had broken down. In a way, it was backwards, but it I considered it to be forward as it was the beginning of my fresh start. Luckily, I knew the number off by heart. I missed my Blackberry like I assumed I would miss a limb but so far I was doing just fine without it.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Dad. It's me, Bella." The last part was unnecessary; I was after all, an only child.

"Hey, Bells, I've been so worried. I tried calling your cell but it's switched off. Are you OK?"

Hmm, OK is a relative term.

"Yeah, my car broke down but I'm fine. I could use a ride?"

"Of course, where are you?"

Darn, I didn't know. I told my dad that I would have to give him a call back when I got some directions. I wasn't looking forward to talking to Edward again but I padded back to the main room anyway. He was sat in a large, brown leather chair, looking completely relaxed. As I seated myself on the sofa I quickly appraised his appearance. He was wearing fitted dark jeans which hung loosely at his hips. His cream shirt was untucked and unbuttoned to reveal his marble like chest. His feet were bare and stretched towards the fire, as though he was warming them. He reddish hair was tousled and I recalled what it was like to run my fingers through it. I sighed deeply and he looked at me thoughtfully.

"Need directions?" He had, of course, overheard my conversation.

"Yes, if you don't mind."

"Oh, I don't mind," he replied nonchalantly, as he pulled his feet towards him. My heart sank at his obvious indifference to me being there. He was the love of my life, and I was but a blip in his long existence. I steeled myself so that I could at least get through the next hour before crumpling.

"Thank you."

"But first," he said mischievously, as he turned his body to face mine. "I want to play a game."


	3. Chapter 3

"A what?" I found myself hedging against the change in Edward's demeanour. He was suddenly attentive and almost predatory.

"A game," he repeated, a dark glint was in his eye.

"What if I don't want to?" I pushed my back into the sofa until I was met by the resistance of my gun, still tucked in my waist band. I suddenly felt very nervous.

"Oh," he said, as he rose in one fluid movement. "I think you'll want to."

"OK," I said hesitantly despite my gut was telling me this was a bad idea.

"OK? Don't you want to know what game we'll be playing," he said, his voice had taken on a threatening tone and I stood not wanting to back down.

"What game?" I said more assertively than I felt.

Quicker than it took me to blink he was behind me whispering in my ear, "You've been very silly, Bella. Coming to my house when you know what I am."

I turned to face him, surprised that we seemed to be replaying the "I'm a vampire, fear me" lecture. _Please,_ he couldn't scare me.

"I'm not afraid of you," I whispered back, mocking his tone, momentarily enjoying our banter. My enjoyment was short lived as in an instant I was pinned against the wall with Edward's hands either side of my head. My heart thudded erratically. He had been wrong, vampires _could_ change. He had never been forceful with me and I foolishly hoped he would kiss me. His face was less than an inch from mine, his lips within an easy distance and his scent was intoxicating. I breathed him in and it seemed as though he was doing the same thing. He brought his face closer, only towards my neck and for the first time I was afraid.

"Edward," I squeaked. "What are you doing?"

He didn't seem to hear me as he brushed my hair from my neck, leaving it exposed. His cold fingers left behind a blazing trail. We were both very still, waiting to see which side of Edward would win his internal struggle. It was terrifying to know just how vulnerable I actually was. I knew there was no point in me trying to run, or trying to fight him off. Hell, his scent almost made me want it. I didn't know what was happening but I felt deep down that I was in trouble. He wanted to kill me. He ran his nose along my neck inhaling deeply and I closed my eyes, trying to steady my heart beat. Less fear would mean that my heart would slow – it would make my scent bearable. Edward had told me that he had wanted to kill me when we first met, that the scent of my blood was too powerful for him to practice his usual control. He couldn't kill me then, there were witnesses. But now...

"Edward, please," I begged.

An unseen clock ticked the passing of the longest second in history. Edward remained frozen with his nose against my neck, creating a cold spot. Another second sounded and nothing changed. I focused on the passing seconds in order to reduce my heart rate. Slowly, Edward began to gather himself, stopping himself from taking any further breaths. His face was still too close to my throat but I remained still as his arms, which still pinned me to the wall, relaxed a little.

"Bella," he voice was strained and I knew he was trying to prevent himself from breathing in. "Go under my arm, slowly."

I hesitated, too frightened to move.

"Now!"

His apparent anger jerked me into motion and I slowly bent my knees, pressing my back as far into the wall as it would go. Careful not to touch him I slipped under his arm and fought against the urge to run as I walked slowly across the room away from him. Running wouldn't help. My heart still thudded wildly so that I could _feel _the blood surging through my veins. I didn't know what had happened. Edward had always been the poster boy for self control.

Once I had reached the far corner of the room I checked that I had a clear exit to the door – not that I could get out of it unless Edward allowed it. Feeling no more at ease, I turned to face him. He was still pressed against the wall – inanimate. No one was better at playing statues than Edward. My knees felt like rubber and I allowed them to give way so that I slid down the wall to the floor. A heavy sob escaped from my lips as the reality of the situation settled in. I was trapped in a house with my ex-boyfriend. I was trapped with my vampire, ex-boyfriend, who had a particular preference for my blood. I fought against another sob so that it came out slightly muffled. A sudden brush of air through my hair alerted me to Edward's presence – he was now knelt about four feet away. His palms were face up, a sign I took to mean that he meant me no harm. A look of guilt and horror tainted his face.

"Bella, I am so sorry," he said, his voice sounding heartbreakingly pained.

"It's OK," I muttered, even though I wasn't sure it was.

"I've been away from you too long, away from humans in general. When you showed up I thought I was OK, that I could handle it," he explained, avoiding looking at me.

"It's OK," I repeated.

"Your smell is stronger; I never thought it would be possible. When you left to call your dad I found myself losing control. I wanted to _hunt_ you." He sounded appalled at himself. I'd never seen anyone so broken. I couldn't leave him like this so I edged slowly towards him.

"Don't come near," he pleaded.

I didn't listen as I continued towards him. Throwing caution to the wind I sat up on my knees so that I could wrap my arms around him.

"It's OK," I whispered, feeling like it would be. Edward eased into my embrace, wrapping his arms around me. I hadn't felt so complete since he had left and I allowed my tears to run freely. He didn't love me but right now he wanted to hold me and nothing else in the world could interrupt this moment. All too soon Edward stiffened his arms around me as a female voice shrieked.

"What the hell!"

It was Alice.


End file.
